Katara: the Last Bloodbender
by awaken Deep Blue
Summary: It was Katara's 18th brithday, and it was the happiest day of her life. Until Azula gives her a unforgettable birthday present: forcing Katara to kill the person whom she loves with her bare hands. And this is only the start of darkness.
1. Bloodbender

My name is Katara and the moon is bright. My name is Katara and the moon gives me strength.

I effortlessly glide across the water, into the Fire Nation capital's port. There are many fire nation soldiers there, waiting for me. I see them. They see me.

I close my eyes and focus, channeling the full moon. I can already feel the heartbeat of the closest fire nation soldiers. A heart is nothing but a blood pump, ever beating, the blood ever flowing.

I squeeze my hand into a fist. The heart beat disappears. With my eyes still closed, I now feel the quickened heartbeats of thousands of soldiers. They feel like fear. The fear of seeing their first comrade kneel over and die.

There are so many, yet I must be strong. Weak gets you killed. Weak gets your friends killed. Weak gets everyone you loved killed. Weak killed your Aang.

Oh my god, my Aang is dead. Tears stream my cheeks. I retrieved that memory and I experience it again. My Aang is dead because I was weak. Weakness killed my Aang. These hands, my hands killed Aang because I was too weak to stop them. I open my hands and squeeze.

Hearts are remarkably easy to break.

* * *

I walk the rest of the way to the royal palace. Occasionally in the darkness I see Aang, the everlasting free spirit that I loved. Sometime he tells me how much he loves me. Other times he asks what happened to Katara, meaning the old me. He's only a memory, but he doesn't recognize me like this. He wants to deny what I have become, but... I have to stop thinking about Aang for the moment. Save these emotions as a weapon against Azula. Strength keeps you alive, power keeps you going.

* * *

As I arrived at the palace, I noticed the air was extremely dry. Also the pool near the palace was drained. For the matter, after the soldiers the capital was empty of people and any potential sources of water near the palace. Also, the palace doors were unlocked and wide open, as if Azula was inviting me. She is inviting me, as I then felt one water source in the form of a living body, sitting in the throne room. Her body should provide plenty of water to give her a slow, painful death and me my vengence.

* * *

The only door that was not open was the one to the throne room. I pushed them open and there sat Firelord Azula.  
The one responsible for murdering all my friends in the Fire Nation.  
The one responsible for the chaos in the Earth Kingdom.  
The one responsible for the destruction of the North Water Tribe.  
The one responsible the one responsible for the new Bloodbenders.

Yet the person sitting on the throne and behind the blue flames was not quite the Azula I know. She seems... different. I can't really explain. Azula is sitting there, but there is no arrogance, no narcissism, no paranoia, just a person that looks similar to Azula.

Neither of us did any thing for a long while, just stared at each other.

In this silence, I come across the memory of Aang again. In my moment of weakness, I broke down, sobbing. I spent years working on my craft and perfecting the only bending that can literally bring Azula down to her knees. I traveled across the ocean with nothing but my rage, my strength. With the squeeze of my fits, I felled thousands of soldiers. Yet, I now can't bring my self to finish off the villain that destroyed the world. Was my sacrifice for nothing? Why has my strength failed me now? Why can I not bring down the lady that took my world away?

I only had one question to Azula, "Why?"


	2. You Healed Me

author's note: sorry ahead of time. This chapter may be a bit of a expo/info dump about the Avatar universe after Sozin's Comet. However, you might want to pay attention to Azula's words. Also, if you don't understand, this is a flash back and the rest of the story is in a flash back.

* * *

It was the happiest day of my life.

I spent my 18th birthday at the Fire Nation Palace. Previously, the palace used to be the intimating fortress of Firelord Ozai, where the source of all evil sat on his throne. At my birthday, many years later, Firelord Zuko transformed the palace to be the center of peace and prosperity, where leaders settle their differences peacefully with the blessing of the Avatar and trade agreement are made to rebuild and better the lives for everyone. Under the suggestion of the reformed princess Azula, the Avatar and Firelord Zuko organized the largest gathering of leaders and generals to celebrate my 18th birthday. This gathering was also an opportunity for all the most important leaders in the world to get to know each other personally, thus celebrating my 18th birthday with one more step towards peace. This was the culmination of years of work, the crowning achievement in restoring balance to the world.

The party was both grand and amazing in every possible definition of the word. Leaders all around the world were here. Earth King Kuei with the Council of Five and the new Dai Li, the Joint Chiefs of the Water Tribes escorted by the newly formed Waterbending Avengers, and of course the recently reunited Fire Nation Royal Family. Former Firelord Ozai was harmless, Zuko's mother has returned from banishment, and even Princess Azula was reformed. She had redeemed herself by successfully organizing reconstruction efforts and reuniting both the Northern and Southern Water Tribes. She even personally created the Waterbending Avengers, the new small but elite, efficient, and effective teams of waterbenders that do everything from personally guarding the Joint Chiefs to protecting the Water Tribes and maintaining order and justice.

The party was also very tiring. As I walked into a quiet room, I found it easier to count the friends that couldn't make it to the party. Iroh, whose advance age is catching up to him and Firelord Zuko doesn't want him to travel too much outside of Ba Sing Se. After Sozin's Comet, Toph spent a week with her parents but ran away again, never to seen again except for the scattered rumors of a Blind Bandit fighting crime and causing general chaos throughout the Earth Kingdom.

Azula walked into the room. She also looked tired from the party. As she walked into the room she said, "Boy am I tired (was she being sarcastic? I couldn't tell), sometimes I wish Zuzu would tone down these gatherings of leaders. I just want to go back to drilling my waterbenders to make sure they don't get complacent while I'm gone," while stretching.

I replied, "Maybe you should give them a break. They are already some of the best waterbenders this world has ever seen. Perhaps even better then me, with all the constant training and sparring you put them through. You should have broken them by know, but how do you do it?"

She smirked. "The trick is to not think like a waterbender, but like a firebender. Uncle Iroh once said it's important to draw wisdom from many sources. They are not the Avatar nor can firebend, but they can still act presumptively, strike first, and end any trouble before it even begins. Incorporating the wisdom of firebending into their fighting style makes them that much powerful. If they were normal waterbenders, they would have broke by now. However, my Avengers have the fire and spirit of firebenders in them, giving them the drive to do the impossible. My Avengers are so infamous that I encourage them to waterbend giant ice wings on their backs while on patrol. Not only do they supply water, provide for powerful defensive maneuvers, and force them to constantly use their waterbending to maintain them, but I find fear and intimidation a great deterrent to evil." If I remembered correctly, she ended this with an evil laugh and creating little pillars of blue fire in her hands.

"Wow," I replied, "That's quite impressive. I can't say whether or you changed a lot or you have stayed the same."

She turned her head sheepishly and extinguished the fire in her hands. "I used to be a narcissist, arrogant, and a perfectionist. I still am those things. Right before I was about to become Firelord my closest friends betrayed me, making me lose trust and faith in other people; worst, myself. I would like to thank you for the visits you made to my cell, after you saw the mess I was after you had me chained up. You healed me."

I blushed and thought for a second. "Really?"

Azula replied, confidently, "I meant every word I said."

And then she hugged me.

And then I couldn't move.

I felt something... unnatural...


	3. I meant every word I said

Azula said, "You can let go now," and I let go of her.

I'm not the one in control of my body.

"I would like to thank you for vouching for me after our little talks in my jail cell. Helping me restore my sanity and convincing Zuzu to appoint me at head of the Water Tribe reconstruction efforts are the nicest things anyone has done for me. I thank you for that. In return, if you don't resist, I'll try to make sure you survive the night."

She came closer to me face, looked at me in the eyes, and started whispering. "To create my Avengers, I recruited all the Southern Water Tribe waterbenders that have been captured during the raids to train the next generation of waterbenders. I noticed that one of my training groups were massively more effective and powerful during the full moon. When I investigated, it was too late. I already became a puppet under the control of Hama and her new full fledged Bloodbenders."

I learned later that these very same Bloodbenders were dressed in black and were hiding on the trusses that held up the ceiling, where the light didn't reach them (the palace had very high ceilings).

She started talking normally now. "This is when I had an epiphany. It wasn't Bloodbending that was evil, it's not waterbenders that are evil. It has always been the human nature to be evil. You cannot undo Bloodbending. Bloodbending is only a perversion of existing power as an expression of the darkness that lies in all of us. It was the responsibility of the Avatar to keep this in check. Because of his 100 year disappearance, he has failed. Both the Water Tribes and Earth Kingdom have been weakened and the Air Normads completely wiped out. The Avatar cycle may already be broken. There may be a chance the Air Normads may come back and when the time comes, the Avatar is reborn as one of them, but the world cannot afford to take that chance. The age of the Avatars is already over, since it is clear that not even Avatar Aang will not strong enough to stop the incoming wave of darkness. Bloodingbending was only invented in the pain and suffering of war, and it is only the start. I already have been receiving reports of new innovations for war. Iron can be purified to make a much stronger metal called steel. New weapons called guns that give a single soldier the killing power of a firebender and much more efficient factories that can make them by the thousands. War will only become more deadly and terrible. The Avatar cannot stop this. As I said, the age of the Avatars is over, the age of reason and steel has begun. We can only play our part and fulfil our destinies. We can only hope that the world transitions with as few lives lost as possible."

"In every story, there is always a hero and a villain. You will survive the night and thus become the hero, eventually. I am familiar with the darkness and thus I will become the villain. You will experience pain and suffering and come to hate me by choice. I will have to do terrible things, but I will have to come to hate you because I must, not because I want to. I wish for us to become best friends, but that cannot happen. To stop the darkness I must play my part and become the darkness, become hate itself. You will be the hero that kills the darkness and truly usher the next age in peace."

I could still move my mouth. "I don't understand."

"Obviously, none of this makes sense now," as she turned her head. "Many things won't. I promise in the end you can ask why, and I'll explain everything. Above all, remember our honest discussion before my Bloodbenders made you my puppet. Now go enjoy your last dance with the Avatar. By the time I am done tonight, the Avatar will have left you," and Azula left the room.

* * *

The Bloodbenders loosened their grip on me and I panicked. I ran. I ran straight into the ballroom and I met up with Aang immediately. Aang said, "Katara, where have you been? I thought you ducked into another room to catch a break?" I tried to warn Aang, but my throat kept on getting stuck. "Aang, Azula *cough* *cough* *cough* she *cough* *cough* *cough* blood *cough*." I couldn't break free from the Bloodbenders, where ever they are, as I scanned the room, looking for them. I should be able to use my waterbending to resist the bloodbending, but there must be at least a dozen of them. Aang was confused. "Katara, are you ok? You seem to be coughing a lot. Are you trying to tell me something about Azula?" I was running out of ideas. Azula will be making her move very soon if I know her. She did just say, "act presumptively, strike first, and end any trouble before it even begins." "I know", I thought, "I need to do something to make it more difficult to be controlled, maybe the Bloodbenders will slip up." I took Aangs hands and took the lead in dancing. I tried talking now, but the dancing backfired and now the Bloodbenders tightened their grip on me. They even forced me to continue dancing and smile.

This seemed to convince Aang. "Well, it's great that you seem to be doing fine again."

"NO NO NO," I cried in my head. "I JUST PLAYED RIGHT INTO AZULA'S PLANS. AANG, I'M NOT OKAY!"

Aang continued, "I know we have been through a lot, even though we were just kids. Together we saved the world. Where ever I went, you were always there with me. When I fell, you brought me back. When I defeated Firelord Ozai, you stayed with me and together we rebuilt this world. I was afraid that you loved me because I am the Avatar, but now I know you love me because I'm Aang. It's not your eighteenth birthday that makes you a grownup, it's the responsibilities that you took. Now it's my turn to take responsibility." Aang stopped dancing, pulled out a little box and got on his knees.

"Katara," Aang said, "Will you marry me?"

The entire ballroom stopped dancing and was soon filled with nervous whispering.

I regained control of my mouth for a second, "Aang..." I said weakly.

"It's okay," said an embarassed Aang, "maybe I shouldn't have proposed in front of all the learders of the world. Maybe we're not ready for this and we need more time. You can say no and we can forget this happened, I'll still love you the very same!"

"Aang!" I shouted. I almost regained control of my body and the Bloodbenders knew that. They forced my arms into action and forced my hands around Aang's neck. Aang fell down to the floor and my hands followed, crushing Aang's throat. At first, Aang looked surprised, then... nothing...

* * *

The rest of the night was a blur. The Bloodbenders couldn't force me to bloodbend, but they forced me through the motions. They killed their targets themselves, but they made me appear to be the murderer.

Firelord Zuko died on his throne.  
Firelady Mai died on her throne.  
The rest of the Royal Family followed. (besides Azula)

Sokka, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of the Water Tribes died calling my name.  
My father died trying to grap a hold on me.  
The rest of the Joint Chiefs died.

The Earth King died.  
Suki, head of the New Dai Li died calling Sokka's name  
Ty Lee, second in command of the New Dai Li died attempting to chi-block me.

Everybody of any importance died that night, with me as their apparent murderer. "Sometimes I wish Zuzu would tone down these gatherings of leaders," indeed.

"If they were normal waterbenders, they would have broke by now. However, my Avengers have the fire and spirit of firebenders in them, giving them the drive to do the impossible." They just did.

Also, besides my friends, nobody tried to stop me. "I find fear and intimidation a great deterrent to evil." By then she had redefined good and evil. She told me how this night was going to end in my face and I did nothing to stop her!

Lastly, "Right before I was about to become Firelord my closest friends betrayed me, making me lose trust and faith in other people; worst, myself. I would like to thank you for the visits you made to my cell, after you saw the mess I was after you had me chained up. You healed me." This is all my fault. I was weak, believing that all people deserve mercy and redemption. It just cost me the lives of all my friends and my beloved. I am directly responsible for this night.

"I meant every word I said." Yes she did.

* * *

Well before my 18th birthday, Azula talked to Aang a lot and got to know him quite well. Aang even confided that he was planning to propose to me. Azula suggested my 18th birthday.

Firelord Zuko was planning a large gathering of leaders to create an international framework to resolve differences peacefully. Azula suggested to make it on the 18th birthday of Katara, Heroine of the Southern Water Tribe, as it gives all the leaders excuses to travel to the Fire Nation Palace and few would be rude enough not to come.

The only person that could kill the fully realized Avatar Aang is his girlfriend, Katara. He trusts her completely, having known her for years and would not dare to harm her. He plans to propose to her that night. He had to build up all the courage in the world to do this. He immediately regrets choosing to propose in front of everybody that's important. He regrets confiding in Azula, because Azula just walked out of the same room as Katara and Katara came out panicked, barely able to speak Azula's name. He was relieved Katara calmed down. He hoped Katara would say yes. He was prepared for Katara to say no. He is emotionally vulnerable now. The only thing that surprised him was Katara killing him.

* * *

Azula ended my night with a fast but weak lightning. Enough to stop my body, but not to kill me.

As the last member of the Fire Nation Royal Family, Azula ascended to the crown as Firelord Azula, although she was more widely known as Azula the Avenger.

The similar namesake Waterbending Avengers reestablished law and order they were famous for in the Water Tribes after the murder of the Joint Chiefs, effectively operating as the government of the Water Tribes under the influence of Azula.

With the leadership of the New Dai Li dead, the rest of the Dai Li covered up the Earth King's death to the Earth Kingdom to maintain stability. The New Dai Li reverted back to old habits and relied on Azula's advice and resources to maintain order.

The few survivors in the ballroom (including Azula) spread the word that I murdered the Avatar and all the leaders of the world. Before that night, nobody knew what was Bloodbending. Now everyone knows Katara the Bloodbender. Azula took it a step further and promised the world that I'll be the last Bloodbender the world ever see, thus making me

Katara: the Last Bloodbender


	4. Stages of Grief: Denial?

I was dragged into my cell by a pair of Avengers, who wore their distinctive full plate ice armor and ice combat wings. These separate the normal waterbenders from the Avengers, as the constant waterbending would exhaust most people, but the Avengers are famous for doing are impossible. It's very flashy, I just find it completely unnecessary.

I was trapped in a six by six feet cell with simply a four solid iron walls. No contact with the outside world. The cell was in complete isolation. There were metal mechanisms to restrain me while they served me water. The air was climate controlled and completely dry. They kept me dehydrated on purpose so I couldn't produce any tears or sweat. This prison was built to prevent waterbending, to imprison waterbenders. This is where the Fire Nation kept Hama, the original Bloodbender.

I swear the guards were mixing some cactus juice into the water they were feeding me. I spent the first month hallucinating about everything, even though I knew I was trapped in a iron cell.  
I dreamt about happily accepting Aang's proposal.  
I dreamt about all of my friends cheering and celebrating  
I dreamt about the wonderful marriage that would occur, walking down the aisle, and saying "I do".  
I dreamt about the continuing adventures that would follow.  
I dreamt about the children we would have.  
I dreamt about rebuilding my home and the Southern Water Tribe  
I dreamt about the children all my firends would have and would come over to play  
I dreamt about watching my chirdren grow up and fall in love themselves.  
I dreamt about growing old with Aang, watching the world grow and prosper in peace.  
I dreamt about seeing new life again, as I held my grandchildren in my hands.

I dreamt about an entire lifetime with Aang. I had almost completely forgot that he died, or how he died. I was happy, for once after that night. It all came crashing down once I realized that none of that was real, that I was still eighteen and trapped in this cell. That I was the one that killed Aang. The call of reality, the fall hurt more than you can ever imagine.

* * *

Hama visited me. She came periodically.  
On the first time I was retrained when she looked at me, her face emotionally neutral.  
"It's a full moon out tonight," she said.

"I wouldn't know," I replied.

"It's only been a month."

I scowled back

"It took you no time at all to go crazy," she continued.

"You put something in the water!" I shouted.

"No I didn't," she replied back calmly, "You are just going through grief. I find that there are five stages. I'll give you a hint. The first one is denial."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. The Avatar is dead."

"NO HE IS NOT!"

"Yes he is."

"NO HE IS NOT. THE AVATAR IS ALIVE AND WELL. HE TRAVELS THE WORLD, BRINGING PEACE AND RENEWAL WHERE EVER HE GOES!"

"No he is not. The Avatar is not alive and the world is suffering for it. The is death and discord through out the land, mostly directly caused Firelord Azula and you not being there to stop it."

"NO, THE AVATAR IS ALIVE AND STOPPING ALL OF THIS. HE'LL SOON PUT AN END TO THE VIOLENCE AND HE'LL SOON COME HERE TO RESCUE ME!"

"No he is not. Are you listening to me? You killed him with your bare hands. Here, let me show you a demonstration."

Hama pulled out a cage with two rats. "Ok so we have here a male and a female rat. It's that time of season and the female is in heat, so they like each other very much at the moment. Let's call the female Katara, and the male the Avatar. Now you and the Avatar were like this," she said as the rats were chasing each other in circles. "My Bloodbenders had to practice very hard to bloodbend someone else to dance very well. Somehow Azula predicted that we'll be needing that very skill," she puzzled.

I let out a primal roar.

"Oh well," Hama continued. "Next you two did this." The rats continued spinning in circles. "I said you two did this." The rats still spun in circles. "One second." She moved her hands and arms. The female rat stood up on its hind legs and the male was on its fours, facing the female. "Some times you have to force it. Rats too. Now the Avatar was like this, and you were like this. And then, bam!" The female rat bent over and bit the male in the neck. The male fell down and bled to death. "Now, this is not how exactually it happened, but you get the idea."

I pleaded, "The Avatar is not, the Avatar is not..."

Hama countered, "Why do you keep on calling him the Avatar. Aren't you on a first name basis at least?"

"Duh, the Avatar's name is... the Avatar's name is..."

This was my breaking point.

"I killed the Avatar. The Bloodbenders made me kill the Avatar. You trained the new Bloodbenders. YOU KILLED AANG!" I roared. "I'm going to kill you. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Fine then," Hama calmly replied. The metal restraints let go of me. "There is no water here, except in one place," as she spread her arms out. "Do it and you get to leave. Do it and you walk out of here free. Even my Bloodbending Avengers will knee before you as your new students. They deserve the best. My loss occurred far too long ago to make me a proper Bloodbender and a teacher."

I got into the proper stance. I focused and felt her heartbeat. I opened my hands and...

I couldn't do it.

Hama sighed, disappointed. "No, like this!" as she popped the female rat. Its blood and chunks sprayed me and my face. She paused for a second. "I wonder if it was pregnant?" Hama then looked at me. "Maybe." She put her hand on my belly. It was repelsive and ice cold. "Azula told me you were vomiting that morning, because you were that nervous. Or, maybe, it was something else." She put on my restraints and walked to the door and turned around. "Either way, you loss someone important to you, someone you loved. But if so, you just lost more than we realized. But it remains an if, as we'll never know. Lightning does bad things to bad people. See you next month."

She closed the door and I screamed.


	5. Stages of Grief: Anger and Bargaining

According to Hama, the second stage of grief is anger.

For the entire month that I was in isolation, I was kept shackled and restrained to prevent me from harming myself.

For my first week, I raged against Hama, for provoking me, for taunting me, for the very fact that she is alive and well while my Aang is dead. Her bloodbending disgusted me and I swore never to bloodbend, especially not to do it for her. I envisioned her in my cell, with her withered face and rags for clothes, laughing at my pathetic refusals at Bloodbending, vowing to break me.

On the second week, I started raging against the Bloodbenders, for being pawns, servants, slaves to Azula, Hama, and the strength and power of Bloodbending. I pictured them in their Ice Armor and Combat Wings, so flashy, so vain. Proud of their power as waterbenders and the respect it earns them, and addicted to the Bloodbending that allows them to force their will on other people and make them do terrible things, like force people to dance against their will or force their hands on other people's necks and... no, I don't want to go to my dark place.

On the third week I raged against Azula, the master mind of everything that has happened. Because I healed her and gave her mercy when she was down. I talked to her when she was crazy and I wasn't sure she was listening to me. I took pity on her when she broke down crying during Sozin's Comet, and as a reward she killed all my friends and my Aang. On the third week, it was her turn in my cell, she sitting in the position I sat when I was healing her mind. Azula sat across from me, pretending to be kind, pretending to care, pretending that she was a human being and she wanted to heal my broken mind. Pretending that I was crazy and that I should stop seeing people that are not in my cell. This made me so furious.

Fourth week, I kept my eyes closed. I was afraid I'll see myself, that I'm responsible for Aang's death.

Hama opened the door again, but now she has company. She has her Bloodbenders with her. There are five of them. All of them wearing their unnecessary ice armor and wings, but now they were not wearing helmets. They were all Water Tribe girls, they looked like the same age I was when I first met Aang. And just to mock me, they all wear hair loopies.

"They're from the Southern Water Tribe, the very people you went to war to protect. Now look at them now. Aren't you proud now? They used to be helpless, scared little girls that lost their mothers and fathers to the war, just like you, and were forced to live with other families that could never replace their parents. Then Azula walked into their lives and showed them love they haven't experienced in years. She found, in them, talent in waterbending nobody else has ever seen or expected, as it was believed that all of the Southern Tribe Waterbenders have all been taken away. They're my girls now!"

The girls grabbed a hold on me with Bloodbending. The metal restraints let go of me.

"Tonight we are going to try something new," said Hama.

The Boodbenders forced me to remove my clothes and spread my arms out.

Hama continued, "Now what we have here is a prime specimen of a healthy young female Water Tribe girl. 18 years old. Relatively healthy, aside from killing her boyfriend, go crazy for the first month, quickly going into denial, and next rage for the another month. Now she is probably on the bargaining stage now."

"Please..." I whimpered.

"Please don't interrupt me," she said as the first girl Bloodbended my mouth close. She now turned to her Bloodbenders. "Now you practiced on serial killers, rapists, and people that talk in theater, with occasional popping, but now is time to learn how to cause as much pain as possible without killing the prisoner. This will the useful in extracting information from a stubborn Metalbender, such as where his or her comrades are. Azula is having trouble with Earth Kingdom rebellions lead by the new influx of Metalbenders."

"Kayla, would you do the honors?" asked Hama. The second girl stepped forward, slit my left wrist on a sharp piece of ice on her armor, and started using Bloodbending to painting my body with my own blood. "This is a basic exercise in bloodbending. Using bloodbending to feel the blood in the puppet and trace the flow of blood from the heart to the rest of the body. It's a delicate balance not to harm the puppet and not to use not too much blood, but to be thorough and trace every single trail. Also we don't want to get your nice clothes dirty." I felt Kayla inside of me, inside of my body, starting from my chest and spreading throughout my body, painting the trail as she went. It felt... disgusting. And it was tearing my body apart from the inside out. After a second, Hama continued. "Kayla, stop. You're using too much blood and you're hurting her. We have orders from Azula not to harm Katara, or at least in ways we cannot fix."

The third girl, Elnora, finished the job better. It was a much more soothing experience, like soft fingers touching and painting me every where, like a full body massage, as if she was trying to heal me. It still felt terrible and violating, as it felt like her fingers were going into places they should never go.

"There, much better. Now you can see where the blood flows and the options you have, what you can do. Next time you should be able to know where the blood flows without tracing beforehand by using Bloodbending to feel the blood. You should be able to sense people not by sight or hearing, but by feeling their blood. This should prevent ambushes that have taken down many of our fellow Avengers."

"Okey, another exercise in teamwork. Make her dance."

"This was an exercise in teamwork. After you feel you feel the blood in Katara, feel the blood in yourselves and each other. Blood is the river of life, always beating, moving, flowing. Blood is like water, except blood is alive and a part of each and every one of us. Don't waste energy stopping or interrupting the blood flow, that's for killing people. Instead, go with the flow and redirect, use the person's heatbeat and energy against them. Bend the blood, and you control that person and you dominate life itself. Feel the blood of each other, feel the heartbeats and the blood flow. There is no I in team, there is only we. Don't take the initiative or act unilaterally, feel the movement of each other and only react and contribute, build constructively on each other and go with the flow, so that five people become one and that one has the power to dominate the Avatar himself." The girls working in unison, as if they were dancing together. Such teamwork would have been beautiful, except for the fact they were forcing me to dance instead.

"Now let her go."

They released me.

I fell down to the ground, grabbing my wrists so I don't bleed out.

"Now, it is time to use such talent and teamwork for move, constructive and useful purposes besides mapping and dancing. Network with each other and send Katara to the very edge of death. Her bloodflow has been mapped out, so feel her body and know precisely how much more abuse she can take. Remember, bruises are only blood that have been spilled from the blood river and into other parts of the body. Not only do they hurt more, but then you can feel that spilled blood to more accurately diagnose how much further she is from death."

I now spoke up against the Bloodbenders before they walked into my cell, "You should not be wearing ice armor now. I spent two months in this desert without water to bend, and now you come to me with all the water I ever need. I will defeat you all in a second and escape this prison without Bloodbending." I got up and attempted to waterbend. It resisted, as if it were a part of a person. Hama laughed in her annoying laugh, and countered, "The Bloodbender's ice armor is laced with their own blood, thus effectively making the armor an extension of their bodies, so you would have to use bloodbending to stop them." She was right.

The girls walked into the cell and started beating me. Their ice armor augmented their strength and speed. They created spikes on their armor. It was painful. But I did not act against them, I did not resist. I just curled up into a ball to deaden the pain. I refused to Bloodbend.

I passed out from the beating.

I woke up to extreme pain. They were working in unison again, except they were using their Bloodbending to heal me directly. I was covered with my own blood from the beating, and the healing felt worse than the beating. My entire body felt like it was on fire, my bones made sickening sounds as they were set and healed, my body painfully rippled as everything was slowly fixed.

"Why did you not Bloodbend? I did let the girls release you."

"I refuse to Bloodbend."

"You bloodbended the leader of the Southern Raiders out of revenge."

"That was a mistake. I will never bloodbend again."

"You have done it before to save your friends."

"..."

"One of your friends is still alive, for now. Toph, I believe. There is a Blind Bandit roaming the Earth Kingdom, being a thorn in the side of Azula's Allied Nations Forces. She has trained a force of powerful metalbenders, being especially effective against Azula's new guns and capturing many Ironclads, forcing Azula to build new steel ones."

"However, the Blind Bandit is fighting is losing war. If you want to save your friend, kill me with the only way you can."

"No, I refuse to bloodbend. I am not a Bloodbender. I am not you."

"I will get you to bloodbend, one way or another."

"No, you will not."

She put a fresh change of clothes in the corner. "Anything else you have to say before I come back next month."

"The Avatar is dead, isn't he?"

"Yes he is."

"But I'm not the one that killed him."

"You can argue that. However, if you where stronger, if you worked on and practiced your bloodbending to become a fully realized Bloodbender, you could have taken control of your body back. However, you were weak. What I have done today is the initiation process for my Bloodbenders, the first lesson. Being aware of where your blood flows, know what it's like to lose control of your body, know what it's like to experience pain while helpless and defenseless. You killed the Avatar with your refusal to bloodbend."

"Please, don't say that, anything but that."

"No. I didn't kill the Avatar. You killed the Avatar."


	6. Stages of Grief: Despair and Acceptance

Author's note:  
Sorry I took so long to update. R/L has been extremely busy for me lately. I hope this chapter is worth it.

* * *

I spent the next month curled up in a fetal position, wallowing in despair. I didn't even have the energy to get myself dressed. The Bloodbenders did more than drain all the life out of me, they made my greatest nightmare come true. After all this time, only now I fully realized that I was the one that killed my Aang. I may have been a puppet, I may have not been in control of myself, but I'm the only person in the world that could truly hurt a fully realized Avatar. And I did. It hurt so much.

I lost track of time when Hama and the Bloodbenders returned. Apparently, the Bloodbenders were wearing their helmets, unlike last time.

Hama cut to the chase.

"Toph is dead," she said. She let that sink in for a second. Honestly, I felt nothing. I have become numb now.

"It took the lives of almost all of the remaining Avengers and Dai Li, but the Blind Bandit was destroyed in a storm of Ice and Stone. By the time they were done, there was nothing left of the rebel aside of a few remains. The largest chunk they found was her forearm."

"Let me guess," I sarcastically replied, "It's all my fault."

"But it is," Hama replied eagerly, "how many more people have to die until you are willing to use Bloodbending to save them? Hundreds, thousands?"

"Never."

Hama glanced away for a second. "I was warned that you would say that. When you said that, Azula ordered me to do this!"

The first Bloodbending girl recoiled her arms and jerked them as if she was wielding a whip.

There was no physical whip, but I immediately felt extreme pain at the base of my spine. Then, I couldn't feel my legs anymore.

"Phantom whips," said Hama, "the waterbending Avengers have become quite innovative as their numbers dwindled and became desperate for intelligence. So close to Bloodbending, but not quite. They tear apart the body from the inside out and cause permanent damage that can never be fully healed even with the Bloodbending variant of healing. It's the slowest way to die and experience as must pain as possible. Just even mentioning it is cause for a metalbender to start spilling the beans."

Weakly, I still had one word. "No."

The next girl phantom whipped me across the chest. After the pain settled, I found it hard to breath between the bloody coughs.

Hama continued to taunt me kneeling down and getting into my face, "Submit to me as your Bloodbending mistress! Join me and my Bloodbending girls. Become the harbinger of the rise of Bloodbending and the new age. I, Hama..." I interrupted by spitting in her face. The sight of blood on her face gave me my first simile in a couple months.

Another girl, another phantom whip. This time my jaw and the rest of my face slackened. No more smiling, or any other emotions for me.

Hama had nothing else to say, and nor could I reply back.

Two more girls, two more phantom whips. They hurt and reduced me to a simple doll, unable to move, right at the edge of life and death. Yet, at some level, I wanted this. I felt physical pain like no mortal has even experienced, but nothing ever more than the pain in my heart.

I felt weak, and my vision was blurring. Hama taunted me "... I can save you from dieing, but what's the point. I still see Katara the Heroine in your eyes, not Katara the Bloodbender, the one Azula ordered me to create. It's all too late now. Azula should be at the North Pole now. Do you want to take ten guesses why she's there?" I understood what she was telling me, but I couldn't respond back. Hama continued, "But it doesn't matter. You wouldn't Bloodbend save the lives of a hundred babies, why would you Bloodbend to save yourself or to just survive day to day for the rest of your painful life." Again, she kneeled down to my level and stared me in the eye. I couldn't talk, but she got the message. "I refuse, as I would rather die with honor, and I'll finally join my friends and my Aang in death."

Hama reacted extremely angry and ordered her Bloodbenders to phantom whip the heart. They all did.

They phantom whipped Hama's heart.

This is when I passed out, but life was not finished with me.

I awoke to five girls simultaneously healing me. I'm now still alive and now talking, but little else. Not even the pain of their Bloodbending to heal me could undo the damage.

After the girls saw that I awoken, they stepped back and kneeled in my presence. "Mother, please forgive us," they said.

I had so many questions, but they were all the same. "Why?"

They start talking in perfect unison, "We remember you, even though you may not recongize us now. The war made us orphans, and we never had a mother figure in our lives ever since our parents died, except you. Our relatives could never replace our parents. Azula came into our lives but she then sent us away to train in waterbending. Hama was abusive in making us strong and hard. Whey we first met Azula, she was quite motherly and caring, reminding us of you before you left. When Azula came to the Southern Water Tribe, she was the closest thing to a mother we had in a while, ever since you left. Each of us felt better when one Azula hugged each one of us, as if Azula was sharing the burden of loss and was taking the pain and suffering away. In fact, Azula seeked out the children that have been hurt the most during the war, and whoever she touched, she help them discover their waterbending abilities. Azula told us that their parents never left, that a part of our parents were always within us. Hama told us that the blood of their parents flows within them, and thus Bloodbending will always bring you closer to your parents.

"The water tribes value community, love, and family. Bloodbending is the most extreme expression of this. While Bloodbending can be used for purposes of pure evil, such as enforcing your will onto your victims or killing within a heartbeat, the core of Bloodbending, the true strength of Bloodbending is empathy, forming bonds and making friends with other people, becoming a family from whole cloth. What is a family? A family shares the same blood. The strength in Bloodbending is to become so close to your sisters, to the people you love, that you know what they are going to do before they do, and they know what you are going to before you do. In knowing this knowledge and the split second reactions that boundaries between people dissolve, and a group of people become one being, one family. With this one family working as one, their Waterbending becomes multitudes stronger than the sum of their abilities. At one level or another, all Avenger units know this to be fact, which is the cause of their effectiveness and power. The Bloodbending Avengers, us, the girls you see here, we're the only one that made the full connection to each other with bloodbending."

"Bloodbending is an expression of the heart, a way to connect to life and to bring you closer to the people you love."

"Bloodbending is life."

"But not all life is positive, mother, and Bloodbending reflects this. The dark side of Bloodbending is fueled when ever our bonds and connections are threatened or severed. From what we know about you, mother, you only used Bloodbending during a full moon and when the lives of your friends were threatened and when you confronted the leader of the Southern Raiders, who you believed took you mother away from you. Hama lost her entire way of life, which made her a very powerful Bloodbender. Each and all of us lost our parents to the war, which fuels the emotions that give us the strength to use Bloodbending against other people. Using bloodbending against other people is a fully realized corruption of life, powered by the feeling of loss, and inflicting it on others. Negative Bloodbending is taking out your fear and loss on other people."

"Now here something interesting, mother. Azula knew either little or nothing of Bloodbending before she met Hama, but it is by no mistake she organized her newly created Avengers into small, familial units. By doing so, the members of this units come to know each other and become very close friends, increasing their total power. This is by no means an accident. Azula, despite never bloodbending or even waterbending nor previously showing any appreciation to the waterbending arts, somehow knew or understood the fundamental basis and strength of bloodbending and waterbending in general. That and being able to find so many waterbenders that nobody knew about suggests Azula may be working for a higher power, there may be a chessmaster behind a chessmaster."

The lead girl, Elin, opened up a scroll and read the intelligence report. "Even though the Blind Bandit was destroyed at a high cost, the remaining metalbenders have struck at the messenger hawk towers. Thus, there has been a breakdown of communications in Earth Kingdom. Contact with the entire Fire Nation navy stationed near the Earth Kingdom has been lost. Azula is in the Northern Water Tribe with her new steel navy. The remaining Avengers are deployed in the Earth Kingdom, so the Northern Water Tribe is defenceless."

I knew was Azula was doing. "Azula is going to kill every baby in the Northern Water Tribe," I said, "The Northern Water Tribe has held up to attacks before, but they are not going to stand a chance against Azula. Azula just simply wants to kill hope for all the people of the world."

"Time to leave mother," said Vena. "There is a river a quarter of a mile away to the south. Use it to destroy this wretched prison and we'll be on our way."

"But I can't waterbend now, much less even move," I replied.

"But we told you, mother, our strength is now yours." The girls got into their stances and once again, I felt them inside me. Once they got a firm grab, I closed my eyes. Normally, when you close your eyes, you don't see anything. However, this time, I saw five bodies of light, glowing, pulsing, forever flowing. It was beautiful. It was then I first bloodbended for the first time in a long time. I willed my body to move, and the girls gave me the strength to do so. I connected to the girls and become one with the girls that killed Aang. But they never took Aang away from me, and I never lost Aang all this time. For as long as I remember Aang, I will always have him with me and nothing can change that. This is the power of endurance, forgiveness, and love.

We started simple. We rocked our bodies and arms back and forth in a smooth, wave like motion, pulling the river back and forth to build up our momentum. At the right moment, we lifted our arms to lift a large amount of water into the air. Then we leaned back and drew our arms toward us, grabbing the water in the air and pulling it towards us in the prison. When the water landed on the prison and getting everywhere, we froze it. The ice expanded and we kept it hollow to cover as much of the prison as possible. We formed spikes and the expanding ice mass tore the prison apart. As we used the ice to leave, I willed myself to look back to see the wretched personal hell as nothing but rubble. As we left the area, I left my grief behind, destroyed by the new family I now have. Together we are stronger than the sum of our powers. I no longer suffer from denial, rage, bargining, despair. I accept that Aang is physically dead. But he still lives and now my new daughters and I have to save him. It is now time to pay Azula a visit.


End file.
